In her terrific book, Fleming Rutledge says,
“It is the lazy person's way of receiving data about life, without struggle. It is apparently very important to us to believe in innocence. Such a belief is a stratagem for keeping unpleasant truth at bay; it is a form of denial.”But in Truth, it is God made us free first, and in that freedom we can choose to make choices. And more often than not, these choices are motivated, as you would expect, by and for the self—leading Solzhenitsyn to recognize the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. It is not us verses them, but us against God.
Rutledge notes, “Sin is not individual transgressions, but a universal malady.” She also points out how the elderly preacher in Marilynne Robinson’s Gilead muses, “There is never just one transgression. There is a wound in the flesh of human life that scars when it heals and often enough never seems to heal at all.” Yes, even Chesterton affirmed that “Original Sin…is the only part of Christian theology which can really be proved.” Just look around you, as well as yourself.
It would seem that we don’t need just some adjustments and improvements, but we must lay down our arms (to paraphrase something CS Lewis once said). We are agents of Sin; quite good at partaking in it, while poor at breaking its grip.
I feel it in my own bones; as much as I have orientated my life to prayer, meditation, spiritual study, and the sacraments, I sometimes feel my transgressions can’t be overcome by any determination or resolve I may possess. Lately, I have been attending daily mass more often, not so much for anything it can do for me, but to give myself over to what must be done to me in my praise. It gives me a hope that does quantify itself to any particular goal.
Are there just as many sick souls in the Church as there are outside of it? Probably more, for it is recognition of our sickness that makes the difference. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, first step: admit you are powerless and your life is unmanageable. “The measure of the Church, therefore, is not the presence of sinners. That is not surprising. It is the presence of forgiveness, the operation of grace through the sacraments, and the production (eventually) of Saints” (Paul Williams). I don’t have saintly expectations, but there is hope that the criterion of Truth that will be used to judge me is beyond me.
From a certain lens, the beauty of our imperfections allows us to be an apprentice and a teacher, being a receiver and giver; as a reciprocal relationship is formed vertically and horizontally. Yes, we are always in relationship and there will always be a hierarchy in that relationship. We admire those who are more saintly than us in many respects, and take an active part in being compassionate to those who struggle with sin greater than us.
But even still, this does not let us off the hook: reconciliation requires struggle. Rutledge takes on that Sin has a twofold aspect that needs to be contended with:
“(1) Sin is a responsible guilt for which atonement must be made. It follows that the crucifixion is understood as a sacrifice for sin. (2) Sin is an alien power that must be driven from the field. All human beings are enslaved by this power and must be liberated by a greater power.”The sacrifice made by ourselves and by Christ is “not a weakness, but an alternative mode of power” that can overcome the universal malady. We are all complicit, always, in Sin and yet have been granted the Power to repent and sacrifice ourselves beyond it.