I rarely find dreams worth a mention due to their whimsical nature. But I did have a recent dream where I had a sweet encounter with my estranged father. After he swung a few unsuccessful shots at me, I asked gently “what are you doing?” At that moment he embraced me (and metaphorically my brokenness). It had a vividness to it that gave me lasting comfort. I have not acted on it, but it has been passively activating me.
I feel suffering as a vehicle with meaning, where my being available to it conveys how much joy can be available for me. If I pay attention to what is actually at hand (rather than what I imagine to be at hand) and then bless it, It blesses me. My forgiveness to myself is what undivides me.
I'm done striving for mountain tops. I prefer the rock bottom, but not in a masochistic sort of way.
I recently heard one of St. Augustine's definitions for sin translates into “caved in around myself.” Interiorly, this is like the mind curled around itself, its self-image, the pre-occupations of the narcissistic discursive self. Exteriorly, this no better expressed than our smartphone addiction. Just consider how our postures exudes the image of the body curled around and isolated by the device. We are walking, thinking sinners!
But if we choose to place our attention away from all this distraction and gently go into our pain, we can sense a core wound waiting to be healed. We don't need to understand or process it, just be with it.
Once truly seen, our brokenness is embraced into the whole while ever new Life breathes through us.
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My latest non-dual teacher crush is Jon Bernie; for no other reason than I like his presence and skillfulness. When it comes to Truth and Method, sometimes they don't always align in the way we would prefer. So I'm not necessarily on the non-dual bandwagon, as I am on the path to being divinely human. Jon Bernie seems to embody that in a way that resonates with me.